What it costs to flee abuse and stay safe
By Harriette Drew, Senior Policy Officer
A common myth about domestic abuse is: ‘If it was really that bad, she’d leave’. This completely misses the obstacles survivors face. Even once a woman has made up her mind to leave – which can itself be very difficult – there are often multiple barriers to putting this into practice.
We know from our work with survivors that finances are a key barrier. Put simply, leaving and rebuilding a safe, independent life can be very expensive. Survivors often do not have access to the money they need to flee, due to economic abuse, and the financial challenge has only been exacerbated by the cost of living crisis.
So much does it cost to leave?
At Women’s Aid, we have been working to quantify this financial barrier. Drawing on research, data and expert insight, we have produced an estimate of how much it could cost a survivor to leave her perpetrator and how much financial support is available.
Not surprisingly, there is a substantial gap. While essential costs related to fleeing (like housing, legal fees, travel and others) can total almost £50,000, the support through social security, legal aid and grants only comes to around £40,000.
For a survivor, the £10,000 deficit can mean the difference between safety and being forced to return to the perpetrator in order to be able to feed her children.
The economics of leaving
Beyond the overall deficit, three key themes stuck out to me in the research:
1. Leaving is a process
When calculating the costs, we took into account the first year after leaving. This is because we heard strongly from domestic abuse services and survivors that leaving isn’t a single event – it’s a process. Many survivors leave multiple times before they do so permanently, and at any point, an unaffordable cost could force the survivor to return to the perpetrator.
To ‘stay fled’, survivors need financial support which meets their costs in a timely manner. But our research found that survivors often face delays to accessing benefits. They have to set up new bank accounts and wait for new ID to arrive before making benefit applications and, even then, the benefits are often paid in arrears.
As such, a survivor who flees may be forced in debt almost immediately – which makes the rest of the process much more difficult.
2. Leaving can feel like a full-time job
Survivors told us that rebuilding their lives involves hours and hours of appointments and administration. This would be a heavy burden for anyone, let alone for survivors suffering the effects of years of trauma on their mental health. It is even harder for those who do not speak English as a first language.
The tasks survivors face include:
| Family court hearings | Health appointments | Contacting the Child Maintenance Service |
| Debt advice support | Flat viewings | Jobcentre appointments |
| Meetings with social workers | Appointments at the bank | Counselling |
| Criminal court hearings | Peer support groups | Benefits applications |
| Dealing with creditors | Preparing court bundles | Contacting local authority housing officers |
| Setting up new bank accounts | Applying for new ID | Applying for a new school place |
Although survivors may be officially entitled to a range of support, it is often not accessible. They may need to chase services repeatedly to get them to take action; the Child Maintenance Service came up often as an example of this. Or they may need to remind the council of their housing rights or challenge DWP on incorrect benefit decisions.
All these efforts can take a toll, costing survivors time, wellbeing and in some cases their ability to stay in paid employment.
3. Leaving is especially unaffordable for some
We based our estimates of costs and support on a ‘typical’ survivor journey. But there are many reasons why a survivor’s costs may be higher, such as:
- having more children,
- living in an area with high housing costs,
- needing a car or taxis to get around due to a disability.
Many survivors are also prevented from accessing support, for example due to their immigration status. Survivors subject to a ‘no recourse to public funds’ condition would not be eligible for benefits and often face an impossible deficit, with insufficient support from the state.
What needs to change?
For survivors to be able to access safety, rebuild their lives and contribute to the economy, they need a safety net which works. A safety net which is domestic abuse informed, accessible and sufficient.
The current deficit is not inevitable; targeted policy changes could go a long way to reducing it. We are calling on the Government to take action to ensure survivors can flee and stay fled.
See our summary and report for our full recommendations and further information.