Am I in an abusive relationship?

Am I in an abusive relationship?

Everyone has arguments, and everyone disagrees with their partners, family members and others close to them from time to time. And we all do things at times that we regret, and which cause unhappiness to those we care about. But if this begins to form a consistent pattern, then it is an indication of domestic violence and abuse.

The answers to the following questions may help you:

Has your partner tried to keep you from seeing your friends or family?

YesNo

Has your partner prevented you or made it hard for you to continue or start studying, or from going to work?

YesNo

Does your partner constantly check up on you or follow you?

YesNo

Does your partner unjustly accuse you of flirting or of having affairs with others?

YesNo

Does your partner constantly belittle or humiliate you, or regularly criticise or insult you?

YesNo

Are you ever afraid of your partner?

YesNo

Have you ever changed your behaviour because you are afraid of what your partner might do or say to you?

YesNo

Has your partner ever destroyed any of your possessions deliberately?

YesNo

Has your partner ever hurt or threatened you or your children?

YesNo

Has your partner ever kept you short of money so you are unable to buy food and other necessary items for yourself and your children or made you take out loans?

YesNo

Has your partner ever forced you to do something that you really did not want to do?

YesNo

Has your partner ever tried to prevent you from taking necessary medication, or seeking medical help when you felt you needed it?

YesNo

Has your partner ever tried to control you by telling you that you could be deported because of your immigration status?

YesNo

Has your partner ever threatened to take your children away, or said he would refuse to let you take them with you, or even to see them, if you left him?

YesNo

Has your partner ever forced or harassed you to have sex with him or with other people? Has he made you participate in sexual activities that you were uncomfortable with?

YesNo

Has your partner ever tried to prevent your leaving the house?

YesNo

Does your partner blame his use of alcohol or drugs, mental health condition or family history for his behaviour?

YesNo

Does your partner control your use of alcohol or drugs (for example, by forcing your intake or by withholding substances)?

YesNo

If you answered yes to one or more of the above questions, this indicates that you may be experiencing domestic abuse.

You may want to call the National Domestic Violence Helpline (run in partnership between Women’s Aid and Refuge) to discuss this further in confidence, or chat about it anonymously on the Survivors’ forum.

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