Survivor story: Claire* aged 17
"I think it’s really important for young people to know what a healthy relationship really is and that they don’t have to put up with being treated badly, like I did."
Abused by my step-dad...
From the ages of around 7 years old to roughly 13, I was abused by my step-dad. In the beginning we got on well, he used to spoil me and we grew close, then after a while he began to shout all the time whilst my mum and me remained quiet. At first he would occasionally slap my mum but soon things progressed to extremely violent attacks. I often saw my step-dad hitting my mum and there was often a lot of blood.
My new boyfriend...
I had a lot of problems with school whilst this was going on, I was either late or going irregularly, and when I was there I couldn't concentrate properly. I was often covered in bruises and felt embarrassed about what was happening at home. When I was 14 I started going out with a 17 year-old boy, we were together whenever we could and when we were apart we were constantly on the phone to each other.
Controlling behaviour...
After a while he became very controlling, about what I wore, whom I spoke to and who I was friends with. He used to take my phone from me and read my text messages and call log, I used to delete most messages I sent and received just in case it made him angry. On one occasion he slapped me in front of his friends because I 'answered him back'. Due to the violence within my home whilst I was growing up, I believed that it was acceptable for a man to hit a woman, and that it was just a normal everyday occurrence. I once actually asked my friends if this had ever happened to them - it hadn't.
I recognised my step-dad in my boyfriend and this scared me. Eventually everything got too much for me - both my relationship with my boyfriend and everything that had happened with my step-dad led me to take an overdose. I was rushed to hospital in an ambulance and had to stay there for 6 days. My boyfriend never came to see me even though he knew what had happened. After this I distanced myself from him although he still continues to call me every few months and has texted me abusive names several times.
Using my experiences positively...
I’m now trying to use my experiences in a positive way by raising awareness of domestic violence with Women’s Aid. During August 2007 I've helped launch the next phase of The Body Shop's Stop Violence in the Home campaign by talking about what I’ve been through and how I’ve come through it and am now a much stronger person.
I think it’s really important for young people to know what a healthy relationship really is and that they don’t have to put up with being treated badly, like I did. I was lucky to leave but others might not be. Young people have to spot the signs early.
*Name has been changed
