Survivor story: Sarah*

"...I am rebuilding my life and am now studying for a sociology degree at university..."

He drank too much...
The violence started pretty much straight away; he drank far too much and was drunk a lot of the time. I had grown up in a violent home, and had always said that if a man ever hit me, I’d hit straight back. The first time he hit me, I slapped him and it turned out to be the worst thing I could have done – he punched me repeatedly until he had to be dragged off me by two others who lived in the flat upstairs.

He was psychologically abusive...
After that it became a regular occurrence; I didn’t dare call the police for fear of what he might do afterwards. He was psychologically abusive and would tell me that if I ever left him he’d find me, wherever I was and kill me. I became pregnant and by that stage the abuse was mostly psychological but on one occasion, I wanted to go out but he wouldn’t let me – he stood in my way, smashed a bottle against the wall and held the broken bottle to my seven months pregnant stomach.

I confided in my health visitor...
I left on several occasions, but always went back because I was scared of what he’d do when he found me. My health visitor used to see me upset but I never told her what was happening, as I was too scared that I would lose my baby. She was a really good listener and I felt that she was the only person I could confide in, so eventually I dropped some hints to test the water. She was supportive without being interfering and because of this I made the decision to tell her. She was fantastic and told me about the Freephone 24 Hour National Domestic Violence Helpline, who I called and who put me in contact with local Women’s Aid refuge.

I am rebuilding my life...
I moved out with my son and into a refuge outside of the local area, so that my ex couldn’t find me. It has taken some time to get over the psychological effects of the abuse, but I am rebuilding my life and am now studying for a sociology degree at university. My son is doing well at school and we are looking forward to a happy future.

*Name has been changed to protect the individual involved.

Help us by sharing your story
We are currently looking for women who have been helped by Women’s Aid to help us to raise awareness of domestic violence. We are particularly looking for women who are willing to be identified and whose ex-partners have been convicted. For more information email us confidentially or call on 0117 9157454.