0808 2000 247 Free phone 24 hr National Domestic Violence Helpline Run in partnership between Women’s Aid & Refuge
logo

Moderator: Lisa (WA Moderator)

FORUM CLOSED: This is the archive. To return to the forum click 'Messageboard' on the left.

ARCHIVE - Police and the courts

I retracted my statement

I have have sent an email to the police in order to retract my statement.

I am so confused. I know there will be repercussions if I proceed with having him arrested

Back to square one now

Created by Lolliloo on 12-Dec-12 21:34 GMT

Hi there lolliloo,

I am sorry that you feel back to square one. I am sure that the police will contact you regarding this statement and what willl happen next.

If you have not already done so, you can get some ongoing support from your local domestic abuse service, you can take a look at their details here www.womensaid.org.uk/page.asp

You can also call the helpline on 0808 2000 247 at anytime if you need to talk things through, the helpline will not tell you what to do, however they can explore some options with you.

Best wishes

Lisa
 

Posted by WA Moderator on 13-Dec-12 09:34 GMT

I understand your fears, Loliloo,

But do think carefully about the message you are giving him. After that earlier text and the dropping of charges, he may take it as an invitation to return and continue business as usual - or worse. And he may well feel immune from any police action, too. Can you imagine him telling you, 'Well, call them, but they won't believe a word you say after last time. I can do what I like to you now.'? This is what you might be risking, lovely. If you are afraid of the repercussions of having him charged, you could talk to the police and maybe a solicitor about how they can help you to be safe. He can be ordered not to harass or come near you, you know.

These abusive men get away with it because we are to afraid to hold then to account, so why not deal with the fear rather than let him dominate you?

We are on your side, and whatever you decide we will sport you on here.

Flower xxx

Posted by Flowerchild on 13-Dec-12 10:01 GMT

The Police won't allow you do that

The Police will not allow you to retract your statement, because they no longer allow charges to be dropped. It is out of your hands now, and this is best for you because it is in the interests of your safety.

Please be assured that you will be safer if he is prosecuted. Getting a criminal conviction can be a deterrent to further violence for many abusers. My partner has not been physically violent since he was convicted of assaulting me last year. He was well and truly shamed by his experience in police custody, having to appear in court and by all the coverage in the papers (front page news in one of them).

Abusers operate under a cloak of secrecy behind closed doors, while they strive to cultivate a good image in public (look at Jimmy Saville for example). Sadly all too often the victim colludes with the cloak of secrecy because of her own conditioning, and this enables the abuser to maintain his Power and Control over her.

Abusers need to be exposed, humilated and shamed in public because it is the only way they will be motivated to change their behaviour. Forcing them to face consequences under the Criminal Justice System is the most effective way of doing this, because a criminal conviction can have a negative impact on other areas of their life.

Please be assured that the police will take steps to protect your safety. One he is arrested he will be bailed with conditions not to contact you and banned from your home - and possibly your town as well. They fit your home with a panic alarm which connects directly to police headquarters, they can change your locks, and even put a fire box on your letterbox. A police safety officer will visit your home to carry out an assessment of what safety meansures are necessary, so you can be assured that your safety will be protected.

Love Ash xxx

Posted by Ashley on 13-Dec-12 10:41 GMT