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ARCHIVE - Leaving an abusive relationship

Did he ever care?!

I fell for his crap about changing yet again.
I refused to move back but agreed to date him again despite the fact he lost me my job amongst over disgusting things that he did.
I know you will all probably thinking what an idiot for falling for it yet again.
I stayed over for the weekend, was going well.
Monday morning he wakes me up demanding a lift to work. I refused as he hadn't given me notice I had little petrol and things to be getting on with with regards to finding a new job. I was then thrown out of the house after he attempted to bite my forehead! Yes my forehead...how crazy is that!!!
He only stopped because I said I would call the police. So basically because he could not get his own way I was punished. Surely I am entitled to refuse something if I don't want to do it.

I realise more and more this is no way to live.
He hasn't called or text at all since. Do you think he is actually going to leave me alone this time or is it just another little game and eventually he'll start the pursueding again? If he leaves me alone it means I have a better chance at staying strong. But now I just think that whole weekend of his promises etc was an act, all lies and did he actually care like he said.

I'm so disappointed in myself for going back believing him. I should have listened to everyone. I feel so stupid. When will I get some strength?


Created by blondey86 on 17-Jul-12 11:16 GMT

And did you call the police, or did the threat work?

At wordt here, Blondey, you've learned a lesson and lost three days of you life. That's if you stay right away and cut contact this time.

Don't rely on him leaving you alone - history shows he won't. It's up to you to cut the contact now.

Oh, and you can call the police on the non-emergency number and report what he did. Are there marks? Get someone to photograph them and go to the GP for a tetanus shot. Human bites are more dangerous than dogbites you know. Go even if he didn't break the skin.

When will you get strength? Right now if you want to!

Where will you get strength? From inside yourself, from your anger and indignation, form all of us on here!

Enough is enough, Blondey - time to say 'game over'!

Flower xxx

Posted by Flowerchild on 17-Jul-12 12:06 GMT


Thank you Flower, you always have great words of encouragement
I need to stay strong. The fact he isn't contacting me helps that.
Let's hope he sticks to it this time but who knows with him.
He didn't get far with the biting, literally put his teeth near and I threatened the police and he moved back. No mark or anything.
Thanks again x

Posted by blondey86 on 17-Jul-12 13:33 GMT

Be positive

I think you should be brave and move on. This man has no respest for you at all. Did he only invite you over because he needed a lift to work ? he played the mr nice guy until he couldn't get his own way.
Give yourself premission to be happy,you deserve it. This man is not going to change. How many chances has he had?
I know it's hard to walk away because of the way we think we always believe that deep down there is some good in our abusers. Don't be so hard on yourself just keep busy doing the things you enjoy. xx

Posted by inneed1 on 17-Jul-12 13:44 GMT


Well I spent the whole weekend there and he was fine so not sure that was his intention. He does have other ways of getting to work.
Just seems like because I wouldn't do what he wanted he decided to get abusive yet again!
I know you're right. I do need to be strong and not go back. This is probably about the 8th time I have. I feel so pathetic writing that. I just always wanted to believe there was some good in him and that if he just got some help (he said he would) and I changed a little then we'd be ok. Well it's now twice that I have done nothing and he's gone for me and chucked me out. Could have been worse of I'd been my usual fighting back self. He's becoming more unpredictable and dangerous to me that I know enough is enough.

My support worker today met with the police to discuss my situation. She is concerned that because his violence is becoming more erratic and unpredictable that he could potentially really harm. Throughout his arrests the police have fell for his pathetic stories and denials. My support worker confined the police believed it was me with the problem, i.e making it up to get him in trouble etc.
Well now they know the truth. They now realise they've been manipulated by him and have placed me onto the at risk register. I feel safer and I hope that of anything further should happen that he will be punished this time or at least I will be believed. Because it hurt so much that they thought I was the crazy one.

That's one baby step done. I've done what I can to protect myself. It feels good. Next stop is getting a job and fingers crossed il be on my way to a better life free of his abusive ways.


Posted by blondey86 on 17-Jul-12 15:09 GMT