ARCHIVE - Children, young people and domestic abuse
Don't really know where to start, left my horrible husband nearly 5 Months ago after 22 yrs of being with him. I had to leave the home because he would not leave and the only way to get away from him was for me to go. I had to move into my Dad's of which I'm very greatful. I have 2 beautiful children aged (removed by moderator) . After lots of hunting my down and wearing me down he has the children 3 nights a week ( I hate being a part time mum ) I am currently awaiting mediation, the first session with the ex. Really can't put all this in words but I'm just so low. HE's fighting me for tax credits and everything - all I need is for him to buy me out of the house so I can start again and give the kids some stability instead of sharing a bed a one room. Really struggling at the min 
can't cope. X x
Created by Starlight on 19-Jun-12 20:52 GMT
Firstly congratulations for finding the strength to leave your terrible relationship. It must have taken a lot of courage to take that step to make you and your children safe. I am also pleased that you got support from your Dad, that must have been really helpful.
Secondly I am really sorry that despite your strength and bravery your husband is still using every opportunity to try to manipulate you.
If you haven’t already I would suggest you use a solicitor to deal with any correspondence between you and your husband. This will help to alleviate unnecessary contact.
Rights of Women can give you free legal advice and guidance, they also have good downloadable leaflets on their website. You might want to consider counselling support, your local service or GP might be able to refer you.
I hope you can get some release with your beautiful children. Keep reaching out and please do stay in touch with us.
Best Wishes
Lisa
Posted by WA Moderator on 19-Jun-12 22:56 GMT
& welcome onthe forum. Well done on making the break, your children will thank you for it when they are able to understand. I'm glad you are safe at your Dads. Though I'm sure it's difficult bring back 'gone' now you have your children & are going through all this. I moved back to my parents for 10 months when I left my ex husband, my son was 7 months old, it was pretty rough for us all actually.
I just wanted to say well done for finding the courage to post on here. I would definately advise calling the helpline. Has anyone spoken to you about mediating when there's been abuse? I've not read Lisas response so I apologise if I'm repeating myself or if she's advised you something differently (in which case she will know over me!). I mediated once with my ex & it wad a total waste of time. He just used it as another opportunity to try to manipulate the situation & blame me for everything. Presumably you are mediating through a specific mediation company? I wonder if you hasn't already whether you should tell them about your situation so they can decide if mediation is the best option for you. I obviously don't know the details & even then I'm not qualified to say, but it may be worth checking before you put yourself through it. Having said that it may be productive, I guess only time will tell.
I know how very hard it is to do all you're doing but hang in there.
You're doing the right thing & you will get on your feet. Keep talking to us, we're all here for you & I'm sure you'll find the board really helpful.
Take good care,
H xxxx
Posted by HMP on 19-Jun-12 23:40 GMT
