ARCHIVE - Life after abuse

I feel so weak at the moment and dont really know where its come from. For the first few weeks in refuge i felt strong, relaxed, did not miss him in fact nothing at all apart from scared at night. Now i feel a bit empty.......i hate to say it but it feels like i miss him, i all of a sudden feel like maybe i have blown things way out of proportion maybe he wasnt abusive and maybe i should of dones this differently. I see this picture of me and kids living in our home and him visiting weekends to see them...........this is my weak moments, my strong moments are being scared that one day (due to courts or something) the danger he poses will be right in front of us all protection gone. I hate weak moments they feel awful.....empty..hollow though i dont understand why they exist. The other day i was loking at a site and came across a risk assesment scale on whether someone was more likely to kill.....my answers got a 15 out of 20 though i dont know what that means as the scale was not pulicised with answers.
Can we really underestimate a persons danger to the point where we think its ok of course he wouldnt when he really would. where does all this confusion come from????

Weak, Weary & you guessed it Confused!