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Headbake

i think my head might just explode, 144 of the most vile, disgusting, hurtful texts he has sent this weekend. The most recent one being a slow painful death wouldnt be enough for me!!! So in his eyes I'm the worst excuse for a mother and lover, im nothing but dirty ugly trash, I'm the liar, the cheat, the one who never made an effort in the relationship. How he is so happy to be moving on, all in the most vile language. I know I shoudn't let it bother me but to be fair the constantness of it has worn me down. I only replied to ask him why he hadnt collected our son and then to tell him I've kept a diary of his behaviour and he has stopped for now. Why can't he just leave me alone?, when will it end? Why does he always make out I'm the bad one? I'm lost at what to do next oh and he took all the money out of the bank and there no way my wages will cover the rent this month and no access to any other money, can't even borrow any. The man will only be happy if I'm homeless. Sorry for the rant ladies. Love and strength to you all.

Created by Headache on 16-Oct-11 11:42 GMT

X x

Sorry he is being so cruel to you. The names nasty comments can be so hurtful. I wondered if you can get benefits to help with rent. Or maybe call helpline for advice. For next month maybe open a new account put rent money away and just leave what he can have in joint account. I am glad he is leaving you alone for now. Sending you a hug x x

Posted by Confused29 on 16-Oct-11 12:40 GMT

Text messages

Even though this is the last thing you wanna be doing right now, get a computer print off of these text messages. There is a special computer gadget or attachment or something that can do it. Then you need to consider whether you want police involvement for harassment. I would recommend you do because he is not going to leave you alone and you have a right to happiness, you have a right to a life free from abuse. The police will have a word with him and then if it continues, there are other things that can be done like a non molestation order. Having been down my road, I am now having to answer for why I didn't get institutions involved earlier so what I am saying is that what he is doing is abuse and even though you prob don't want any more hassle and any more people poking their nose in your business, cover your ass and put things in place so that it makes it harder for him to abuse you. But for right now, switch your phone off and go do something nice and energizing for yourself. Something that will take your mind off it. Sending you a hug ((((()))))))
xxx

Posted by KiaKahaWahine on 16-Oct-11 14:16 GMT

Agree with KiaKahaWahine

I agree entirely with KiaKahaWahine on this one. I think you should speak to the police about this because it is harassment. You don't necessarily have to press charges at this stage, but at least have it put on record. As KiaKahaWahine has already experienced, she is now being asked why she didn't get institutions involved earlier, so I would speak out now. You don't deserve to be treated like this or go though all the stress and upset.

Something else you can do is see a solicitor for some advice, especially about him taking all the money. Many solicitors will give you a free 30 minute initial appointment. If you ring round a few firms, you can ask if they have anyone who specialises in domestic abuse, because quite a lot of solicitors' firms do nowaways. You can also get advice if you ring the helpline on 0808 2000 247.

Take care and good luck,
Love Ash xxx

Posted by Ashley on 16-Oct-11 15:37 GMT

:-(

144 texts is terrible terrible harrassment. I think you are being so strong in not replying. Don't react - it's what he wants. We will never understand what drives them to behave in this way. Thinking of you x

Posted by beingbrave on 16-Oct-11 15:41 GMT

Thank you soo much

Ladies yet again you have come to rescue and helped me to see the wood for the trees. The texts did start again and I replied asking him to stop and if he didn't I will take the mattter further. As expected he continued briefly but has now stopped. Do I need to go to the police or can I just see a solicitor and get them to write to him??? I will not let this man beat. Again thank you, wish you all love, strength, good health and happiness xx

Posted by Headache on 16-Oct-11 18:20 GMT

big hugs

how awful and damn right irritating! ...you could go to police solicitor or both ..if you think police will rile him more just let them know so they can log it down explain situation and how you feel it will make him incase you want to take it further in future if your not ready or dont want to do then a solicitor could do alot... it does grind you down when its constant i can understand its been a long road and im lucky my ex is in prison but it finnally feels like i have managed to get somewhere after 18mnths of harrassment of myself family and friends ...keep communications regarding children through solicitors and you can get contact books so everything needed to be said about visits is written down in there eg if child has fall or medicine to take etc stay strong , it will get better and most importantly dont listen to the things he says he's reflecting himself onto you , your amazing strong , and a fantastic mother sending you strength impy x

Posted by impy on 17-Oct-11 03:09 GMT

wondered if you had got advice about housing benefit etc

if you phone the helpline they will be able to give you the number for beneftis advice, so you would know what you can claim.
I forgot the name of the place now.....turn to us? may beable to google it?
lisa do you know it?
sending you a big hug and hoping he will leave you in peace... can you change your mobile number?
AwokenXXXXX.

Posted by awoken on 17-Oct-11 14:33 GMT

Turn2us

The number is Turn2us for benefits advice and information is 0808 802 2000.

Best wishes
Lisa

Posted by WA Moderator on 17-Oct-11 15:37 GMT