why did i put up with it so long

why did i put up with it so long

he's been emailing me and he's desperate to try and regain control it's pathetic..he's trying everything he can,he flips from being nice to being pushy and nasty
he doesn't seem to want to accept that as probation are involved and he's moved out of the area that it now makes it really difficult for him to come back,also he doesn't know that i had meetings with probation in regards to the idap course he was meant to be doing and i told them everything
i didn't cover for him at all like i have been i told them i knew that the more people i told the harder it would be for him to return as it would mean the girls would be in danger and social services would be involved
it was kind of a fail safe i set myself,i knew i would get to a point where i was thinking of him coming back but this way i know i can't as social services would look into the girls home life and i know its not safe when he's here

my god why did i stay with him so long so so dumb

they are weak really aren't they hence why they try to control us
sorry for waffling on
thanks for the support i keep reading all the posts to keep my strength up
you truly are a great bunch of ladies
xxx

Created by keep smiling on 9-Sep-11 22:05 GMT

My fave saying is

...why are they trying to control us when they can't control themselves?

And, yes...they are weak and pathetic. A truly strong person empowers others rather than victimise them.

Posted by MissT on 10-Sep-11 06:24 GMT

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Good for you!

Great move, you've taken some of the temptation to go back out of your hands, until your hands are totally strong enough that's really helpful and can keep you clear of him when/ id you feel tempted.

I had a friend doing that, and even tho I disagreed sometimes, I knew she was on my side and really had my best interests at heart, it helped me ignore his emails, texts and protestations of undying love and other sorts of (bad) poetry!

Anyway why we all put it up with it so much longer than we should is probably cos they know how to push all the buttons, how to get the Mr nice act back on, and how to give you glimpses of the loving men they were at the start.

Letting go of that illusion is a massive step but annoyingly there doesn't seem to be anything to get it happen faster- we each manage it at our own pace (took me 8 years- can't believe it now!!)

Oh and yeah not just weak, but also very, unbelievably, insanely self-centred and entitled.....

take care and be proud of all you have done
love Poutku xx

Posted by poutku on 10-Sep-11 23:08 GMT

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