Moderator: Lisa (WA Moderator)
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ARCHIVE - Life after abuse
Well I've finally ended it, the cycle of abuse. He's gone, i made him leave Friday and it was surprisingly easy. He kicked off in front of our young son, screaming abuse at me, calling me vile names, swearing. As he was collecting some stuff he shoved me, so I shoved him back (not sure what came over me) so he threw a hammer at the tv but it missed, bounced off the wall and nearly hit our son. He's never done anything like that before and from nowhere came this absolute revoltion at what he had done and I pushed him out the door. I've blocked him contacting me by email, facebook or phoning although his texts can still get through. He text saying his heart was broken.......oh the poor man, still trying to make it all about him. i know its early days but I'm feeling great. Although I'm absolutely dreading what will come next. I've been reading everyone posts on here so I'm under no illusion it will be easy especially as we have a son together. It worries sending off my boy to him, I've always been around to keep an eye on him, guess I'll have to cross that bridge when I come to it. How do you ladies cope when you have to share your child/children with your ex??
Created by Headache on 21-Aug-11 22:54 GMT
Well done you for taken the first step, can I suggest getting some outreach support in those early days.
I can't offer advice on contact I am yet to experience the contact thing.
Posted by Butterfly1120 on 21-Aug-11 22:59 GMT
Getting him out is great news! I haven't had to do the contact thing yet either so am no use to you in that respect. It's the biggest thing stopping me from leaving right now. Sometimes I think things would be easier if I was more hot headed and impulsive about things rather than thinking, thinking and rethinking everything 1,000 times over as that's what tends to prevent me from taking action. Maybe one day my head will shut up long enough for me to get him out the door again! lol
Good luck with it all.
Lots of love
Auty xxxx
Posted by Autumnfairy on 21-Aug-11 23:27 GMT
I'm so pleased that you've ended the abuse,and he went without too much trauma.
You are right,of course,that there are things such as child contact which will need to be sorted out.
Do you have any professional support? This is a time when it would be really helpful for you to have an outreach worker. If you click on the "Find a local service" link on this page or call the helpline on 0808 2000 247, you will get the help you need to deal with the emotional and practical problems you may face in the near future.
You've done the hardest part,and there is support for you and your son building a new life.
Best wishes
Lisa
Posted by WA Moderator on 22-Aug-11 10:13 GMT
I thought it had all gone too smoothly and far too easily. It started with text saying how heartbroken he is, how can I be so cruel and evil to treat him this way. Then he bombarded me with texts about getting his stuff so I let him collect last night and now its been nothing but abuse. I know this is only the beginning and I must admit I'm starting to feel rather anxious. I work for his mums business and he works there too (he said it would good for all of us too work together, of course only now I know it was another way to control me) and thankfully I've been on holiday this week. I'm dreading going back on Wednesday so much so that I thinking of just cutting my loses and leaving, though if he gets his way I'll probably be sacked. I have no savings and i can't afford not to work. I've spent this week hunting for a job but there's not much out there, I even tried the fast food places, anything to get me away from there. Sorry for the rant, I can't unload to family and friends and everyone is so kind and supportive here. Sending love and strength to you all x
Posted by Headache on 24-Aug-11 11:59 GMT
Sick just a couple of days to give you a bit more time to maybe find another job !
Posted by needshelp on 24-Aug-11 14:57 GMT
you should not go to work...... i realize you need the money ectra ectra but he,ll give you greif and by the sounds of it your already getting enough of that so i,d really re-think your options..... i no its easier said than done and times do seem hard right now but they get easier x
Posted by extra-large-momma on 24-Aug-11 20:04 GMT
