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ARCHIVE - Life after abuse

best friend has been horrible and my reason for wanting to self harm.

Hi all again,

I am starting to realise that over the last few months I have had a really negative female friend who has been bringing me down. I think because I was being abused by my ex I never noticed it but when i think back she has been just as controlling.
She always expected me to pay for things, I bought her presents and she scowled at them or treated them like dirt.. She criticised me if i looked at my phone and didnt give her full attention. She told me when I should go out and what I should do. I always went to her house and we had to do positive things so when I really needed to vent or get some support she got angry and ignored me.
I was there for here when she split from her partner and listened and gave advice. Only recently I got in contact and she fobbed me off and it seems I do all the chasing. I realise now thats why i felt like harming myself just the other night as she got to me.

A double whammy and it hurts!!!!!

Created by choccy25 on 24-Mar-11 16:00 GMT

xxxx

That doesn't sound like a good mate to me. I had a friend who I'd been through quite a bit with & our now ex's were best mates & that's actually how I met my ex & both he & her ex were abusive, hers probably more than mine. Anyway because we'd been through that it kind of made me not acknowledge that she was p*****g me off more than making me happy. But I felt like well look I'm 30 & I'm not foingnto say you can't be my friend now type thing. So I've distanced myself a bit from her & now she can't let me down. What I'm rambling on about (!) is that if the overusing emotion caused by someone is negative then they're not worth it.
This is an important stage in you 'recovering' from what's happened & exposing yourself to more hurt won't be good for you. Is she the type you could talk to, maybe try to get it all out? Only you'll know that. But don't put yourself through what you don't have to if you know what I mean.

Take good care,
H xxx

Posted by HMP on 24-Mar-11 20:01 GMT

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